The Impact Of Online Relationships

Chatrooms are very popular these days for meeting people from all over the globe. People discuss, share jokes, talk about anything out of the blues and consequences are, they tend to develop a closer tie to someone they could relate to. Thus, an affair to remember! Like any other form of relationships, online affairs need to be treated with care as well.

A survey was conducted about online affairs a year ago. Questionaires were sent to participants who frequent chatrooms, forums and other sites where they eventually developed "online affairs". Online allows people to meet at a distance, chat in real pace, by e-mails, exchange views, even talk to each other in audio conferences or via voicemails. They may have been caught "beyond" in an online relationship after a while of constant meetings.

Note: Identities of contributors in this survey were kept private. Responses were based on personal views and experiences. It may not be true to some, but it may serve as guidelines to others. There were many input collated, but I'll cite only a couple. If there are other ideas that may arise from here. Your contribution is well appreciated.





** How strong is the impact of an online affair to you as compared to a normal face to face relationship?

P1: IT IS AS NORMAL AS FACE TO FACE RELATIONSHIP. THE IMPACT CAN'T BE BASED ON WHAT I FEEL VS. PREVIOUS FACE TO FACE RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO DIFFERENT INDIVIDUAL YOU INDULGED IN.

P2: impact is very strong as we create our own
internal realities as compared to a face to face
relationship where unexpected circumstances may arise.
in our own internal world there is only perfection.


** What are the factors to consider to maintain stability of
emotions when indulge with an online affair?

A3: the factor(s) to consider are...trust, trust, and trust.
as in any normal relationship trust is both internal
and external...trust to oneself and to the other.

A2: HONESTY, BEING LOGICAL IN ALL CONVERSATIONS AND AVOID
OVER PAINTING IMAGES YOU CREATE....AVAILABILITY OF BOTH
PARTIES WHEN MEETING EACH OTHER BECOME A MUST THEN DRAW
FURTHER CONCLUSION THEREAFTER IF NEEDED.


** Can you site few stories of people who were involved in online affairs and it lead to a destruction of families as well separation from previous marriages.


A1: NONE

A2: i am aware of only one. the tendencies were a motivation
toward the intended person and an away from motivation
from the spouse. unfortunate however, because there were
several issues which remained unsolved in both relationships.
the result was the destruction of both relationships.

more.....

Key Points in Handling Critical Situations

There comes a point in time when we encounter critical situations in areas other than workplace. What are the points to consider in handling these situations?

Considering the fact that we're in a multi-cultural enviro, issues on critical situations are often encountered. They arise almost everyday.




Taken with Gabriela,prac tr from University of Technology, Sydney. 2004

At my workplace, it's a normal routine. No doubt about that! Being exposed in a Multi-Ethnic Society, critical situations come and go. Conflicts between ethnic groups are very common. You can imagine what chaos it brings if it's within the 4 walls of the classrom. Here are some scenarios: Kurdish having a go with an Iraqi, a Yugoslav with a Serbian, a Vietnamese fighting with a Lebanese, or maybe a Sudanese having a conflict with other ethnic tribes. These things are real situations. Yes, they are really happening! All sorts of issues are within reach. CULTURAL SENSITIVITY is the biggest factor to consider. Balance the athmosphere in a comfortable set up. DIVERSIFIED ACTIVITIES are suggested as well.




Psychological problems are issues too, in this scenario. You're dealing with victims of crimes, war shocked Ss, victims of rapes and abuses, deprived people, name it!! The workplace is like a melting pot and you're there to mould it. These people were disadvantaged at some stage in their lives, so you've got to be very sensitive.

How would you deal when there's an outburst from a rape/domestic violence victim in the middle of an activity? How would you face a situation when bullying starts for no reason? How about "a war shocked S" just simply stares at you and his mind is out of nowhere?
How will you manage that? STRATEGIES and more strategies, you've got to be very resourceful to survive for a decade at work.




These may seem unreal, but they're real. Yes, they are evident. Situations like these are common for people who are exposed in a multi-cultural world, who are aware of global issues.

FEW TIPS: EXPRESSION OF EMPATHY should be demonstrated at any given circumstances. RESPECT, regardless of what the ethnic background is, they deserve to be respected and so are you. POSITIVE RAPPORT should be the first to consider, if there's an interactive/ positive rapport with them, potential problems that may arise are manageable.

CriticaL Situations are not only evident through face to face interactions, these are also happening in virtual reality. How are we going to deal with things like these?

Here are key points to take into consideration:

* Letting the person get out their frustration -within reason- is the first step in finding the solution. Let the person vent his/her own fellings. Don't tell them to calm down. BE QUIET. SILENCE is the best weapon to combat situations like this. Let them talk and don't take what they are saying personally.

Never say:
.. you don't understand
.. you must be confused
.. you're wrong

* Don't get trapped in your Negative feelings about the person. It doesn't matter if you like them or not. The friction between you and the difficult person is often worsened by how you interpret his/her behaviours.

* Express Empathy if there's a need to, otherwise leave the situation alone to that person who constantly whinge. He/She will stop in the long run.

* If the situation is getting worse, expect that the person is loaded with "Psychlogical Problems", he's overloading himself with burdens and piling up more hatred within. Any person who manifests such acts has an enormous varied complexities. His aim is to focus attention in that particular realm.

* Simply disregard it! Focus yourself instead to an activity that's worth a cause! Great day to all.

Tips To Consider .... Online or Offline

What can you say about this?

Getting into relationships/friendships online can be very rewarding, but they can also be very dangerous. Anyone who is involved in any sort of a relationships online should be smart to avoid the dangers and reap the rewards.

The people we are dealing with online aren't just virtual entities. They are more or less real, like the people we met everyday in a "real set up" life. Take note of that!

We should treat others online as we would wish to be treated, but we can't always expect this thing to happen. On the other hand, we have to recognise as well that others online may not necessarily treat us as we treat them. Not everyone will share the same values and sensitivities that we've got. Some of us, may have encountered verbal abuses, harsh words, bashings and humiliations. Others may have encountered polite people, respectful who treasure values so much. This is where we need to be sensitive of. Knowing our ways and values, we choose the people and groups where we feel comfortable. Why hang around with people where we don't feel the positive vibrations.

If we frequent chatrooms or forums, we got to consider that it’s possible to develop strong relationships with people online, relationships that are different in quality and character from anything we’ve experienced offline. The anonymity online can be judged only on what we write. This can be very intoxicating. Be careful of this intoxication.

The anonymity encourages deception. Based on research, 80-85% frequently lie. People online lie about their identities. It goes beyond giving false names to go with an online identification. Who would entrust personal details online? Tell me about it! Remember that cyberworld is littered with people who have spent so much time getting to know someone only to find out this is misleading.

In an online relationships, we got to consider these factors, physical presence, social context and everyday experience. Any person we get to know online is not the complete picture of what they really are. Remember this before offering personal details, heart or life, we got to be very careful. Out of 10 people we meet online, it's good enough to have 1 or 2 to treasure and develop in depth relationship/friendship.

Once we turn our computer off. That's about it! We look around and notice who and what we have in our life offline.

Reducing Psychological Harm

Have you ever thought of trying not to cause pain? It seems almost self evident, that others enjoy this kind of scenario of inflicting pains to others. Even animals try to avoid pain much more to humans.

This idea of judging actions and situations without thinking what the outcome is, maybe beneficial to them and they feel the sense of satisfaction. They never think of the psychological impact of what they've inflicted. It maybe harmful to some or maybe creativity to others. It's actually beyond words seeing people harming others in the cyber world to the extent of relating it to reality. They probably gain more self satisfaction that way. They think that it will attribute to the maximum level of contentment. It's UNBELIEVABLE!!



To some extent, it's CREATIVITY on my part. I took it positively and explored different angles to gain more skills in the virtual world. Thus, this website came to exist. My gratitude to SOMEONE who has a better perspective and a broader outlook in life compared to the rest of the group who constantly hang around watching how people melt or being wiped out by a tsunami.




Along with the idea of freedom, judging things in terms of their harmful or beneficial effects has been one of the "main weapons" of many nowadays. People who are judgmental with physical appearance are using this to comouflage their innermost complexities. I couldn't fathom how they enjoy inflicting pains to people they haven't seen or had seen once/twice in a real life set up. Could it be that they had extreme negative experiences previously and they put their frustrations in this kind of scenario?

Although seeming to be self evident when pain is involved ,judging things in terms of their outcomes is not as clear cut as it at first seems. So, do we just avoid causing any pain or harm? When is the pain or harm worth it?

Anyway, how do we know what the outcome of a specific situation or action will be? Can we always predict what the outcome of an action or any situation? How could we reduce psychological harm to others?

What's your Zodiac Sign ?

here's mine....

Element: A cardinal airy sign
Traits: Alert, Just, Artistic, Honorable, Affectionate
Ruler: Venus
Gems: Diamond, Opal
Color: Indigo Blue
Metal: Copper
Exalted: SATURN
Harmonious signs for business/marriage/companionship: Aquarius, Gemini

Libra is represented by the balancing scales of justice indicating their love for fairness and harmony. With Venus ruling this sign, Librans are gentle, modest, soft-spoken and courteous. They like to enjoy the luxuries of life and to patronize the arts.

Librans are sensitive to the needs of others and have the gift, sometimes to an almost psychic extent, of understanding the emotional needs of their companions and meeting them with their own innate optimism - they are the kind of people of whom it is said, "They always make you feel better for having been with them." They are very social human beings. They loathe cruelty, viciousness and vulgarity and detest conflict between people, so they do their best to cooperate and compromise with everyone around them, and their ideal for their own circle and for society as a whole is unity.

In their personal relationships they show understanding of the other person's point of view, trying to resolve any differences by compromise, and are often willing to allow claims against themselves to be settled to their own disadvantage rather than spoil a relationship. They like the opposite sex to the extent of promiscuity sometimes, and may indulge in romanticism bordering on sentimentality. Their marriages, however, stand a good chance of success because they are frequently the union of "true minds". The Libran's continuing kindness toward his or her partner mollifies any hurt the latter may feel if the two have had a tiff. Nor can the Libran's spouse often complain that he or she is not understood, for the Libran is usually the most empathetic of all the zodiacal types and the most ready to tolerate the beloved's failings.

Preserving Heritage

Heritage is one of the 6 main values that we should look into account even we're now in the modern era. Despite the complexities in life nowadays, it is fruitful to name the values explicitly. The importance of this is to refresh one's cultural background or to be familiar with them and make some distinctions to the present values of people these days.

Without heritage, we would lose touch with each other, with the past and with our sense of self. But should the old be venerated because it is old? Is this heritage "our" heritage? or is it the heritage of the POWERFUL?

The main idea behind preserving our heritage or culture is that values embodied in stories, objects, occassions and institutions all shape our identity and conduct.

Highlights On A Very Impressive Performance..

On 17th April 2005, marked the graduation day for students in Saint Louis University, Baguio City, PHILIPPINES.

We know that we've been there for all of the big steps in our student's life - and that we continue to play an important role during and after college years.


Sarah Jane & Giesel


Miss Sarah Jane Rulloda, left a very remarkable impression to the University, to her family and to her friends. She's a pride of her clan, I should say. After 5 long years, the fruit of all those sleepless nights studying and browsing on books came to an end. Sarah Jane highlighted a very impressive performance in SLU. She graduated attaining two courses. In both discipline, she achieved outstanding awards in Bachelor of Science in Financial Management and Bachelor of Science in Accountancy . She was awarded honours as SUMMA CUMLAUDE and MAGNA CUMLAUDE respectively. Sarah Jane is incredibly awesome!

Rigorous, demanding and worthwhile. These are some adjectives that she had eventually applied to her studies. It's in her major that she started to a mass expertise, accruing knowledge and skills for her career - and life.



To: Sarah Jane

Knowledge moves back and forth like a stream of energy.

But it doesn't stop there. You've learned for learning's sake. You've learned-working to sharpen your mind and soften your heart-because you want to be a "woman for others." you take your knowledge outside the classroom. You work for peace. You work not for the sake of financial advancement, but work for a better perspective. You help the sick, the poor and the needy. Tag along with you the 6 main values in life, the freedom, safety, fairness, equality, loyalty and efficiency. Or you can even write a book that may heal a thousand hearts.

This is the essence of education. A "place" where you not only can talk about the meaning of life - maybe you can find it too.

Goodluck, Sarah Jane.(it pays to have those "flashlights" eh...lolzz)



what jane does in her spare time...playing games at the arcade. lol

Colour Coding on Shoes - A Global Forsight - Part 1

Actually, it never came to my mind that colours of shoes and dresses may be used as a reflection of someone's attitude. Only after I've attended a conference and the speaker used those simple objects to get his message across. The information stated here may not be realistic, but it would be good to be aware of simple things as well.

Now, let's look at the SHOES you wear. Have you ever thought that pair of shoes may have something to do with personalities of people? Look at these colours and have a bit of self reflection.

A pair of shoes connotes action.

Where should we classify Imelda, knowing that she's so famous of her collections. Can you help me figure it out please?

If you're wearing a FORMAL NAVY SHOES...
you're disciplined and follows routine and procedures, you follow stages and always undergo a "step by step process".

...........

BROWN SHOES - you're a down to earth person; very practical and pragmatic. you have this kind of atttitude " something has to be done but.....
......


BLACK SHOES - a person who uses these shoes don't easily accept changes. you're a person of rules, not easily persuaded. you don't easily bend your rules, firmed and straight forward.



PURPLE BOOTS/SHOES - it connotes authority. always wanted to be in charge in setting goals.

.......


PINK SLIPPERS/SHOES/SANDALS - this includes behaviour asscociated with attention to human feelings and sensitiveness. attention seekers.



GREY SHOES/SANDALS - always checking on things, but can't do much changes. uses neutral approach to any situation or problems.

Dress for Success....A Global Foresight Part 2

How much do we know ourselves?

Let's start with the dress codes based on colours.

Fnd out more about ...

The 6 Thinking Hats - Dress Codes and Colours

WHITE - you're more of facts and figures, data and informations. you always present infos in a neutral way.

RED - very emotional and intuitive.
in a discussion, you're always carried away with your emotions.


Here's a very good friend of mine who wore this colour when I've met her. The descriptions seem to be right.

BLACK - you're judgmental. this is what could go wrong; it's risk and dangers. used to reflect on why suggestion doesn't fil the facts.



YELLOW - you're an optimist; allows you to look for the benefits and and how something can be done.



GREEN- you're always looking for new ideas; very creative and non-judgmental.



BLUE - it's a process of control; after hearing all the ideas and criticisms, you look at the brighter side of any given situation.
you're actually in control, you're authoritative in a way. you have the attitude of becoming a good leader. you have the ability to control someone.

a part of the whole process....

Despite of the difficulties these people had encountered, here they are trying to look at the brighter side of life with the belief that they'll have a better future in the new country of settlement. They're from the African countries who lived in the refugee camps for quite sometime. They brought with them all sorts of stories and it's really hard to believe what they've been through,it's beyond imagination. No amount of words can describe what they've experienced. The torture and trauma, the abuses, the lack of food, unhealthy environment, etc.... those tragic past created a very strong impact into their lives.....

....yet you could see smiles on their faces. Up to the present, they still experience a compounding effect of wide range socio-economic issues in the community. The major issues on language, education and employment are all interlinked. Could you imagine how much more struggles they may have to get back to normal lifestyle? They needed every possible support while settling in a new country and I'm grateful to be a part of the process to their resetllement issues.

The Apple of My Eyes .....

Artwork by: Manny S.

How lovely and sweet
The looks in your face
like the scent of flowers
like the stars shining so bright,

you've really turn into a beauty
the only treasure could be
my sweet apple, an inspiration
so dear ....... you are to me


 

My Sweet Butterfly ......

Artwork by: Manny S.

As a caterpillar sheds its skin
And changes into a butterfly
You can see the beauty in her eyes
shining like crystals...

The point of reason
My everything I live for,
And because of you
....forever...I will love you.
 

a beautiful rose...

Artwork by: Manny S.

there are no words to say
how much you mean to me
through all those years
through love and tears
through joy and fears

such a beautiful rose you are to me
your eyes drawn into beauty
such hard conditions it grew
but it still draws you to see

there's the sun's warmth around me
in you there's always hope to see
you're everything that one could be
my sweet rose you mean a lot to thee.

 

Snap Shots...... a glimpse of Sydney

The famous Centrepoint in Sydney, one of the landmarks in New South Wales, Australia. Ranked as one of the safest buildings in the world the design has made the tower capable of withstanding earthquakes and extreme wind conditions. 56 cables stabilise the tower, and if the strands of these cables were laid end to end, they would reach from Sydney to Alice Springs, or from Sydney to New Zealand.

With 1504 stairs, constantly monitored by security, provide emergency exit from the tower. Divided into two fire-isolated sets of pressurised stairs, they allow patrons direct access to street level.



 

A Landmark in Sydney

The Sydney Harbour Bridge is a national icon and a natural focal point in Sydney. It's one of the world's finest view.  

Sydney Opera House

The Sydney Opera House is the busiest performing arts centre in the world. Since its opening in 1973, it has brought countless hours of entertainment to millions of people and has continued to attract the best in world class talent year after year. The building covers about 1.8 hectares (4.5 acres) of its 2.2 hectare (5.5 acre) site. It has about 4.5 hectares (11 acres) of usable floor space. There are nearly 1000 rooms in the Opera House including the five main auditoria. The entire building weighs 161,000 tonnes.

The Opera House operates 24 hours a day, every day of the year except Christmas Day and Good Friday.
 

Across Cultures...

Dealing with NESB people (Non-English Speaking Background) places us in a very privileged position of being able to work across cultures. It gives us a wonderful window into the richness and diversity of humankind and allows us to share in a world community. However, sharing in that diversity also means we are party to differing views and opinions. We see the impact that intolerance in the wider community has on these people. An attitude against minority groups has enflamed racial hatred as well as grief......

The photo above is a group of refugee ladies who recently resettled in a new country. These ladies are trying to cope up the best possible way to assimilate into the new world......

 

The Aftermath....

There is always an enormous amount of good work happening throughout the world and it would be very easy for us to be consumed by the pace, size and challenge of it all, particularly as what we do matters to many thousands of people. For these reasons and because many of us are passionate about global issues and proud of what we contribute to people's lives, we focus very hard on providing services that we are capable of.

However, what is happening around the globe makes it difficult to focus on our target. Many of our lives had changed and will continue to change in ways we are yet to comprehend. We have been reminded forcibly that we live in an uncertain world and will now be part of a chain of events which will have an impact globally within our communities.

On a personal level, we are struggling to make sense of the waste and disregard for human life ( as many of our refugees have struggled in their lives) We are finding many of the feelings engendered - fear, anger, confusion and despair - are present in our work situations simply by the nature of what we do. .....

Expressing Reservations & Impressions to Remember

It is always handy to know where we're heading - otherwise we never get there. The topic itself aims to paint a profile and share successful experiences with others. We may find a number of common factors that will emerge with these experiences and our involvement to global issues.